My Granny...

This the post that made me cry, but I'm going to post it because it gives me a chance to talk about my Granny.  Any chance I get to talk about her, is a good one.  Its been five years and I think I only miss her more as time goes on.  There are so many things that I wish I would have told her before she left, but in a lot of ways, I think she knew.  She was proud of me, and I strive to make her proud every day. Also, every time I pass buy pecan sandies in the grocery store, I laugh.  Any family that reads this has to remember those!  I caught her many times eating them (knowing she wasn't supposed to because of the diabetes and all), and EVERY TIME I caught her, she'd hold one out and ask me if I wanted one... I imagine its so I wouldn't tell on her, although, I never would have!!  

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So on Thursday, September 14, 2006, my family lost probably the most precious gift that we had been given... My Grandmother, mostly referred to (from everyone) as Granny Mac.  Now, GrannyMac had been sick for a VERY long time and we all knew that it was inevitable that she would eventually pass away (although a part of me thought that she'd live forever).  I got the call on Tuesday afternoon that I should be in Winnsboro because it was towards the end.  I was scared and shocked and wasn't sure about what to do.  My initial reaction was to just tuck tail and run, meaning I didn't want to be there and wanted to get a call and wanted to just go to my house.  Somewhere in my mind, I think I thought that if I just went to Lexington things would be okay and this wouldn't really be happening.  Unfortunately, that wasn't the answer at all.  Later on in the day my good senses kicked in and I went to Winnsboro.  I stayed with my Granny Mac the last two and a half days of her life.  I didn't get to really hear her say anything because she was unresponsive, but I was able to tell her how much I loved her and I was able to hold her and kiss her which is what I think I needed.  I'm still really sad about it, but in retrospect, I'm glad I was there.  I don't think I wanted to get that call.  I know that my Granny was sick and that I had some time to prepare for her death, and other people are taken from us so suddenly, but it doesn't really make it any easier.  I don't think you're ever really prepared for the exact moment that somebody you have loved SO MUCH for so much of your life dies.  Today we bury Granny Mac and my heart is breaking a little because I know that I won't see her again for a very long time.  I'm really sad, but I'm also very happy because I know that she's not suffering anymore.